Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
So unpleasant is the noise of the Rabbids, yet so delightfully entertaining. Too bad the entertainment ends there.
You’re Rayman, a disembodied floating limbed animal… thingy. How such a creature was ever born is a mystery. Perhaps that mystery should be explored, but not in Rayman Raving Rabbids! There’s no story! The little story there is does nothing more than provide a weak excuse for why you are engaging in a plethora of mini games, which comprise the entirety of the experience. Now let me be clear, I don’t need a story to enjoy a game, but if that’s the case then I also don’t want to be subjected to lame characters with a lame story. RRR has both. You want me to play mini games? That’s fine, just leave out the filler. Like a good ring of sausage, I want all meat with no hair, bone, and cartilage ground up, just straight up meat. Throw out this Rayman fellow. Just give me the Rabbids!
I originally played RRR on the Wii and I didn’t care for Rayman or his story then. The Rabbids on the other hand are great. They are rabbit looking fellows that can best be described as mentally disturbed animals on speed. Think Gremlins, except soft and cute. Like me the Rabbids hate Rayman. But unlike me, the Rabbids come to love Rayman. They like his (your) dedication to bearing down and owning those mini games. I just wish there was a little more Rabbid in me. I tried, I really tried. I wanted to love Rayman and his big stupid floating gloved hands. But I couldn’t, my heart wouldn’t let me. And when the heart says no, the mind must follow. But for you dear readers, I pushed on, I stuck it out, so I could write this. Rayman and Brice, Brice and Rayman, making their relationship work.
Beginning in a colosseum style arena surrounded by Rabbids cheering you on, you enter one of four tunnels to begin a mini game. If you win, you are rewarded with picking another tunnel. Rinse and repeat. There’s a fair amount of variety and the mini games take anywhere from a few seconds to a couple minutes to complete. Thankfully the Rabbids provide much needed humour that makes this game bearable. The things they do will have you laughing out loud, I can promise you that. A favourite mini game of mine has a choir of Rabbids singing/humming a tune and your job is to find the Rabbid purposefully singing out of tune and slap him. Yeah that’s right, slap him. Brings a smile to my face each time. Why is slapping always so rewarding? I’d slap you right now if I could. Either yourself or a child that suffers from ADHD will enjoy the pace and layout of what RRR offers.
Some examples of mini games you will find at the end of the tunnels:
- Trace an outline of an object and watch the Rabbid eat the object as it appears. As you can imagine this is painful to do with a mouse, and obviously makes more sense when using the Wiimote.
- Move your mouse around in a circle and watch as Rayman swings a cow on a chain to your movements. Click the left mouse button to release the chain and send the cow off into the distance. I grew up on a farm. We had cows. I thought for a long time how I could make this relevant to you. Alas, I couldn’t. There was just no connection to this part of the game and my real life experience of growing up on a farm with cows. But you know what is relevant about what you just read? It took your time and gave you nothing in return, just like this mini game did with me.
- Push either the left or right shift key in time with a visual cue as Rayman dances and plays the air guitar. Yes, as exciting as it sounds.
Once you have completed three of the four mini games you are treated to an on-rails first person shooter in which your gun shoots plungers instead of bullets. This is arguably the best part of the game. Unlike everything else, it plays just fine with a mouse. Each time you have completed this plunger shooter you are thrown into your prison cell and given a plunger which you stick to the wall to create a ladder which you will use to escape your confines. You are eventually called back out to engage in more games to the cheers of the Rabbids. That’s the story. Really.
The mini games are only somewhat entertaining and have lost much of their charm when being ported over to a keyboard and mouse setup. Playing them again for a second time was more annoying than anything. Flicking my mouse around just isn’t the same as waving the Wiimote at the screen. The Wiimote is what made the game work in the first place. The mini games on their own aren’t anything special, but coupled with ridiculous arm thrashing and pointing, delivered something that was actually entertaining. Remove the Wiimote and you have a title that can’t stand on its own merits. What makes the Wii work so well is standing in a room full of friends, looking foolish as you engage in strange gestures with a plastic remote. The same experience just can’t be had in a computer room by yourself. Completely different focus and clientele.
I would really have a hard time recommending this to anyone, considering it actually costs money. So with that said, I won’t. It just doesn’t work as a computer game, even at $19.99.